Today I learned that I would be most happy at a job that exclusively revolved around me cooking and dealing with fireworks. I was thinking maybe some kind of sparklers that go out with the pizza to decorate them in JUST that new special way or something. If you know of any job which revolves around a Keyur cooking and dealing with fireworks and is legal in atleast 35 U.S. states, do let me know.
Also today I went to see Lilo&Stitch. Its a very nice film. I wish they'd given Stitch more evil time, but none the less its a very cute film and worth the time it takes to watch it. Some parts of it are just so funny its crazy. I think the my group of friends and I were individually laughing louder than all of the mini-people in the theatre collectively. It was quite the aureal experience our laughter was. All in all though it was a very enjoyable film to watch. No Toy-Story but still quite well done.
Should you see a very angry brown man on a very angry bike screaming by, its probably me. I am now the proud new owner of a Mt. Fury 15-speed bicycle. Soon to be renamed the brownFury. More news on that as it develops.
Now its time to try to sleep. Hopefully today I won't wake up at 3:30a and then not be able to fall asleep till 8a for no particular reason. I say BAH! to you insomnia. You dirty coniving monster.
PS. Long live screwing over and slowly destroying the RIAA.
Today was a very long day. I learned today that ants have no idea where they are going. How they have survived over time is well beyond me. They never have any idea where they are going. However, this doesn't stop them for going full steam towards nowhere in particular, they're sort of like people in NY in that respect. Then again I don't know where I'm headed often but I've made out reasonably well.
Not much to say today, very tired and yet sleep eludes and taunts me. I need to find a sleep solution. Perhaps a 40 ton cement mixer to fill this hole in the way of everything. Well I'll go attempt yet another battle with this foe mortally known as insomnia.
Stories like this always make me giggle and snicker like a school girl in health class. And this gem I found over at Scientific American was just more happy juice for the Keyur kar. Suck it creationists!
I was also very elated to have read this story, you go Sun! Its about time people took notice and started waving the red flag at the trend to go with mass parallelism. Mass parallelism is a wonderful and elegant concept, sadly it requires specialized compilers and code thats written to take advantage of that. I think the Playstation 2 is a great example of the woes that developers face when dealing with a massively parellel architechture. 16 pipelines. hehehehehe :) If anything the answers to squeezing performance out of silicon are going to be smarter and more pervasive threading, multiple cores per die, and runtime optimization at the machine level.
Today was a great bash on Keyur day. Friend 1 told me today I shouldn't dance because when I dance I look like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants. He said this one time he saw me doing something that looked a lot like the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls. Sometime later Friend 2 chimes in with, "you should setup a webcam in your room. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid." Good to know that your friends have utmost confidence in your capability to lower the IQ floor THAT much more! :) I would love to take on any of you (listen up Ram) in a good round of some trivia! My head is so full of random tid bits of knowledge it surprises and scares me all the same.
You know today I was thinking...boy isn't it smart that CNN has a 24 hour news channel to cover things that happen around the world. Then I thought about the intelligence invested in having a 24 hour news channel devoted to the ALMOST CITY that is Austin. Another classic example of where hopes exceed intelligence.
Okay now its time to go back to fun stuff like this. Yippee for solving.
Not sure what the deal is but I seem to be stuck at the high point of my rage cycle. There is so much greed around me that it hurts. I'm sure all of you by now have read about the Worldcom tragedy. Its quite funny how the media totally accepts the press releases by the company as truth. How the hell can it be that the entire scam was pulled off by one person. The company amusingly retorts that they've found the evil and fired it, as if they've slayed some magic source of evil. Doesn't the dirty bastard of a company know that this scam their executives (notice the use of the plural to implicate all the suits) designed jacks 17,000 people of all or atleast some of their livelihood? When you read messages like this and this, it really makes you think about things for a minute. There was even a message from a guy contemplating suicide. Obviously I don't believe every word I've read, but out of 17,000 people who will lose their job by Friday, even if a small fraction will have serious financial woes thats way too many people. All because some bitchass CEOs wanted to inflate the value of their stock options by cooking the books and not actually turning a profit (don't forget Sunbeam, Tyco, Enron, etc). Not allowing the reforms recommended by the FASB regarding the stock option loophole is coming to bite America in the ass now. Now every one of those representative dogs that ate money to pressure Levitt to not let the FASB reform pass is doing a sweet 180 and "condemning" this "utter disregard for honesty and ethics". This whole period of time should officially be recognized as a vast reality based experiment by the rich elite and the Wall Street elitists. I hope something serious is done to those who are responsible for this. By serious I mean jail time, frozen and repossessed assets, etc. I want to see one of these bastards directly responsible asking me if I want a large drink with that 7-layer. I don't hate money, but I hate what it does to the weak minded.
Anyway enough lashing out. I think we should think about more beautiful things like when humanity for the first time felt united as a whole upon seeing the movies and photos beamed back to Earth from Apollo 8.
My wish for today is that every American soccer mom and EVERY Texan get a Unimog. That way America could slowly speed up the destruction of the entire world and itself too! Yay for the destruction of the world!
Damn it! The sun is lost again, I have to go look for it. I'll be back!
So after a night of studying horrendously nasty stuff, its great to read wonderful news like this. I never thought I'd say this, but "God bless those crazy Europeans." It really honestly makes me happy to know that there are citizens in this world that feel at least to some degree as I do about animal welfare. So seeing as how this plan is starting to be implemented in the year 2002, America should follow suit by ohhhhh I don't know.....3912 sounds about right. America is sooo bass ackwards when it comes to being a true citizen of the world. One can always dream though.
Also I must alert everyone of the tyranny of ice. Maybe its just that I'm a gujju and I see things I purchase as a return on investment. However it needs to be said that ice is the sick monster that haunts almost every beverage consumer in the world. Everything from smoothies to soda at restaurants to mixed drinks is affected by this sickness. This simple sickness of maintaining a value based ice to content ratio. For any of you that have ordered a smoothie now or again should know what I mean. 2 frozen strawberries, half a frozen banana, tyke size serving of yogurt and 1 tbsp. of protein power do not a smoothie make. When I'm going to shovel out $4.00+ for a damn drink I expect a damn drink. Not some ice based concoction that tastes kind of like a fruit based concoction. Next time you my dear reader are out purchasing a beverage demand your money's worth, tell the store to go easy on the ice. Yes I know ice serves a purpose I'm not blind to that, however in moderation it can do a lot more than just serve a purpose; it can dare I say, "add something of its own."
Damn I wonder why its dark outside. Oh well, I'm going to go looking for the sun. Tata!
So I wake up this morning and for once I've managed to remember a dream almost intact. The problem is this isn't one of those nice dreams this is another Keyur dream. Anyway it went a little something like this:
I was at a house in India for sure and it looked like a combination of the houses that some of my aunts and uncles have. So it was like I was at a bunch of different houses. Apparently I was there fighting the evil robot that had stolen the new super secret Extigy armour from somewhere. Thing is that armour should have been useless to the robot, but being the evil robot that it was it found a radioactive human spleen which imbues the armour with its power. So there I am in a house that looks like a bunch of different houses fighting this robot whose secret is a radioactive human spleen. It doesn't stop there....
Just so happens that I have a little robot friend who packs quite a wallop(always wanted to use that word). This little fiend of normal robot is totally spraying the Extigy robot with a barrage of missiles and other other assorted weapons from QIII. Somehow I just knew that I had to use my tele-electromagnetic forces to defeat this robot and I am also its worse enemy ever because I have the Nuetragy armour. The Nuetragy armour is the only armor that can defend itself again an Extigy enabled foe! Whats weird is that this house I'm in is freakin' HUGE! I'm talking abandoned warehouse out of some Batman flim huge! As my little fiendish robot is distracting the Extigy robot I'm trying to be all sneaky trying to get closer to it so that I can use my tele-electromagnetic forces against him. Eventually I get close enough and throw my hands out at this robot, who has now crawled up into the corner of the room almost up against the very tall ceiling. I'm doing all kinds of cool tricks like sparks and swirly sparks and flying sparks and other such spark type tele-electromagnetic weapons the Extigy armour sucks against. Sadly though this epic battle came to an abrupt end when an "uncle" came home and my robot and me and that damn Extigy robot had to make friends and then go to the market and buy bread for the impending sandwich dinner.
Okay I have to run around and make light saber noises and other such things that I do at work.
So after a sabattical of sorts, I've decided to redo the webpage in a format which makes it easier for me to add updates and take care of the page in general.
A lots happened since I took down the webpage. To say that my life has gone and changed completely would be an understatement, but I think I'm a better man because of it. Sometimes those things that damn near kill us but leave us alive are actually good for us in some sick fate likes to torture me kind of way.
One of the highlights of the past few months or so include this kick ass roadtrip to Cali I took with my homies. This roadtrip was much needed, however that bird Gautam hit surely doesn't have the perspective as I do. Sorry Mr. Bird, I guess you weren't expecting a dark minivan going 95mph to come by your part of the road and the minivan could do little to get itself out of your way. Maybe in another time and another place I'll make it up to you. In the mean time decide how you like your martini.
Heres a random scribble from my collection of scribbles. I warn you to not attempt to extract meaning lest you head explode or you prove god doesn't exist.
On the 17th...
melancholy traffic out of focus
without the rhymes and sounds
splotches of red, blinking yellow, xenon
swimming in a sea of black
with white serpents bathed in sickly orange
vagabonds float over the black of nothing
thoughts of her, thoughts of want
thoughts of fear, thoughts of ignored pain
no longer ignored
no longer melancholy
With that I'll resign for the evening. There will be more. It might even be dangerous, protect your children!
This is a test of the Emergency Keyur System. This is only a Keyur.
If this was an actual emergency a black windowless van with dancing Tax Accountants singing the Bop Gun remix would have been dispatched to your house to ascertain: "pimps up, hizzoes down."
This concludes the test of the Emergency Keyur System.
¡*beep*!