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Merry Christmas

Merry Xmas kids!

Kinda funny cause I thought for sure I’d have more to say, but sadly I’m feelin’ kinda blah. I’m very very disappointed with the weather here and there are way too many people in our little house. Today I went to Willowbrook Mall and let me tell you, that was a terrible mistake. The people in the mall behave much like sharks feeding on the carcass of the dead whale.

I hope all you guys are kickin’ it well. I’m going to call it a night now.

Next update on New Year’s.

Eid Mubarak

Yo guys, I’m back in Jersey for good now. Here are some stats for you:

Total miles(km) driven: 2100 (3600)
Number of days: 4
Miles(km) driven per day: 525 (840)
How tired & achy Keyur is: So tired I don’t even want to code a command line insult program.

So yea that was just a good good trip. Some thoughts:

1. Large 18 wheelers need their own designated lanes.
2. My dad has much much much left to teach me.
3. Pretty girls who wear too much make up just hide themselves.
4. The Dodge Intrepid makes me think there is still hope for American vehicles.
5. Family time has its ups & downs.
6. Finding the Philips ToUCam Pro in stores is nearly impossible damn it.
7. Getting MTV, BET, VH1, ESPN, FoodTV, Discovery & other such cable channels is bloody fantastic.
8. Where do I go to buy a star that goes at the top of the Xmas tree?
9. Hey Sheelpi you estupid boy, you should be calling me!

Well I think I’ll end this update. More to come around Xmas eve!

I'm OUTTA HERE!

Guess who’s back in Jersey?! Thats right the answer is me! However right now I’m thoroughly upset by the lack of cold damnit! Hopefull this will change as time goes on. It better atleast or I’ll have to take drastic measures. Well that’ll have to be all for now. Expect next update around Monday(17/12).

Hey kids! I’m done!!! I’ve finished letting school spank me oh so thoroughly! Now its off to Jersey! Heres how I’m going to get there:

Continental’s Flight 632 is going to get to me Houston & then Continental’s Flight 16 is going to get me to NEWARK!! WOOHOO! Never thought I’d be so damned excited about Newark.

On a sad note, the sceptre of cold death hit close to home again. I found out last night that my great uncle passed away in India. We really need nanorobots crusing our blood clearing any clots they find. Cause this whole heart attack thing is really starting to get to me.

On a happy note the Schlep man, the deliverer of the greatest beat downs this side of the Atlantic is back on US soil. More madness as more news comes in.

Well kids next time you’ll hear from me it will be from Jersey so stay cool, stay safe and if you’ve got more finals left to go, I wish you the very best.

See ya from Jersey.

Moral: sometimes when you don’t find what you’re looking for you find the best things of all.

Inching closer to the end

Biggest news this weekend: RAM RAM GET A RAM has graduamated. Don’t be scared I know the world is not ready for Ram either. I’ll stall him as much as I can, but in the mean time prepare yourself world. As for you Mr. Ram, can you come over real quick. You see I’ve got this Excel spreadsheet with 16,777,216 data points and this macro should parse through it properly and work, but it doesn’t. Can you come over and help me out a bit?

As for me, well classes are over. I’ve written almost 15,000 lines of code in the last 3 weeks. I’m a little coded out right about now. The wound of the loss to Colorado is not healing as well as I thought. Also as you can see the webpage has donned its holiday garb and now is ready for the holidays. Do not send my webpage gifts. Instead cozy up to it in front of a warm fireplace with some warm apple cider with floating cinnamon sticks.

I went to see Ocean’s 11 this Saturday (captivating, go watch). I thought to myself, well if I had to pick a crack team of 11 people to pull off a job like that who would I pick? WARNING: possible spoiler. So here are Keyur’s 11:

1. Sean Connery - rich european with valuables to store in vault
2. G - casino technician (also fulfilling ethnic techie stereotype)
3. Akash - disgruntled 52-year old man looking for revenge with fat bankroll
4. Ram - with enough of those match rockets that vault is history
5. CEO of Marthasoft - hottie spy for those code & social hacks
6. MacGyver - that OTHER big ‘pinch’ already got stolen, I’ll need a new one
7. God Pimp Frank - SIMPLY for his sheer ability to pimp
8. Iron Goose - to infiltrate Vegas food industry and give EVERYONE the shlitz
9. Brian - team muscle and ideal Matt Damon standin (Dan isn’t feeling well)
10. Kapadia - money launderer extraordinaire
11. Nitesh from Zamunda - to fit into that little barrel and hack vault from inside

I talked to the brownFury on Saturday night and hes got to go to Russia. Not sure why, but he had to go so once again hes eluded us. And after Russia he says hes needed in Guatemala. Will that brownFury ever grace the internet? The world waits for an answer.

I have to comment on that fact that this year more than any of my previous it just doesn’t feel right here in Texas. Theres no family here, the weather isn’t cold, theres no threat of impending snow, there are no decorations on the neighborhood houses, and it needs to be mentioned again: Its not cold. Theres something to be said about the beautiful women all bundled up with rosy cheeks and merry smiles walking down windy, snowy streets doing shopping for loved ones. I miss NJ & NY city.

Updates: Thoughts On, Ask Dr. Keyur, Friend’s Pages & Pictures.

Show me mine & I'll show you yours

Holy two-updates-in-a-day BATMAN!

So yea the CEO of Marthasoft gave me a great idea today. To post some of the videos I have of my beloved animal friends! Since I have only four, theres no need for a separate page. Here there are:

• Monkeys are my favorite animals. Here we find a little chimpanzee who like so many of us in this world realizes a profound truth of life.


• This one is brought to you by the CEO of the Marthasoft Corporation. This video takes us into the lands of the penguin and shows us the true nature of those wiley penguins.


• Here you see a little chimpanzee fellow doing something merely BECAUSE THE MONKEY CAN!


• Sheep. Ahh yes those sheep. Truly random animals those sheep. They never can play follow the leader.

7am quick updates:

Philips should quickly & unconditionally surrender their website to competent people. Their website looks very different when viewed with three different browsers. Whats worse is that it doesn’t function properly even with their recommended Marthasoft Internet Explorer. I suggest they take a healthy dose of Dreamwever, Notepad, Pico, and that little thing called REAL FREAKIN’ HTML and never call me. As for you, I suggest you all send me a hug and/or bottle of champagne ASAP for making a website that looks virtually the same in every browser.

I’m still very very angry with Mr. Pretty Boy Chris Simms. I repeat: being tall and blonde has no bearing on being a good quarterback.

An interesting thought I wanted to share with you: Who is the first person that comes to mind when you hear your phone ring? Did that surprise you? I ended up surprising me.

The rest of the site is the same. I’ve got more pictures I want to throw up, but prolly won’t get time until later in the week. Possibly into the weekend.

Austin just can't do snow

Important lessons I’ve learned recently, in no particular order:

1. Being left handed doesn’t make it easy to learn to play on an upside down right handed guitar. I think a left handed bass will suit me instead.


2. Having a slave song stuck in your head is not good. Especially when you’re just singing it to yourself within hearing distance of a black person. Here is the slave song:
   

   
   Day’s never finished…
   Massa got me working…
   Someday massa set me free.

   
   If your question to me is, how do you get a slave song stuck in your head? I put that blame firmly on Mr. Steve. Other than that though hes a good guy.


3. Playing video games with people who are überlords in said games, is about as much fun as getting reflex kicked in the groin by a paranoid zebra.


4. Having ideas about what to write here is a good thing. Having these same ideas run away at night when I actually do my writing here is not.


5. Raja has full confidence that I’m a better person than most prostitutes. Keyur 1 - Prostitutes 0.


6. Be careful when singing in the shower. You can NEVER know who might be listening and recording. Go to “About Me” for more details.


7. Don’t diss on a gem that a man spent lots of time and hard work polishing and making look right.


8. Think before you talk.


9. Never underestimate Chris Simms’ ability to screw up. Never.


10. Mozilla will never reach 1.0. It will however get equal to IE in all aspects around 0.9.8.9.8.9.9.1 (circa 2011) and will supercede IE in every way around version 0.9.9.9.9.9.9.8.7.8.4.1 (circa 2034).

Also the headline for this update is, “Austin just can’t do snow.” This is very true. Freshman year when I left to go home, after I left there was a huge storm in Austin with real ice. This year two nights ago there was supposed to be some wicked ice, but it all passed south of here. Whats the deal? If you know someone who can help with this, please let me know.

The “Thoughts on …”, “About Me” & “Pictures” is where the updates is at. Check it out.